the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. i get sick of people asking me how i am. sometimes i just need to be alone, i need to think things through and i'm really good at not doing that. stupid things fly out of my mouth because i don't think before i talk. there's never enough time. i need time. it's complicated. i just want time away. i don't know what i want to get away from, but whatever it is, i need to get away.

so maybe i'll stay locked away, wanting something i never had. i want something and i don't even know what it is. i figure if i dont know what it is, then i never had it. every time i show that i'm in pain or upset, it's a huge deal and i have to talk about my fucking feelings. i hate doing that. why can't people understand that i need to feel this way? if i never felt like i feel now, i wouldn't feel much at all. i'd still be hollow and not a person at all.

i feel like i need to be fixed, like if you tweaked something inside me, everything would be okay. i'm moody and i hurt. and i say it so much, but it's true. i hurt so badly and all i want is to feel needed and not so alone. if just one person would say i need you and mean it.

here i am, feeling broken and beat down. i know i'm not the only one. i also know that it won't always be like this, but what can we do to change that? how can we continually pick ourselves up time and time again and not be too shattered to fix?

where do we go from here?